Tuesday, December 18, 2012

I'm still here!

I have been so preoccupied the past months with my grandma but I have not forgotten about this! I've actually learnt a lot from her recently.

The more time I've spent with her the more I appreciate my life. She was taken down overnight, lost all her independence and freedom, and I've been sooking for years over my issues. But I've come to realise how it's not the condition or situation you're faced with, it's the way you react to it and you have the choice of how you want to react and then how you want to feel. She might not be able to walk anymore, stand, get in a car, go out, but she continues to have a smile and laugh. Sure she has some down days but they are few compared to the time we spend laughing (well she mostly laughs at me!).

In all the drama of the past 6 months I've stopped focusing on my issues and my down falls and gotten on with life, and I've found that in doing that my eyes haven't deteriorated, I'm doing everything I've always done and most importantly it doesn't stress me. I've realised, so what I see like crap but it's ok, it's just my tiny flaw and everybody in the world has flaws. And then I look at my nanna while she's teasing me about not having a boyfriend or sitting on her lap and squashing her, and I realise how lucky I am and how you never know when life will be taken from you so there's no use stressing over the insignificant things but to just do what you love.

I no longer think about my eyes all the time. I've decided to keep doing what I want, I'm going to keep studying and working. And most importantly I'll never let anybody tell me I can't do something because of my eyes.